It's too late for me, Laura, you'd best go on without me.

I just can't get over this Morrissey thing. God knows you've done everything you could do to try and help me. Time and time again, you've tried to convince me that liking Morrisey is something akin to a disease, that it's something that can and should be cured.

Oh, but Laura...dear, sweet, naive Laura...don't you know by now that it's a disease that has no cure? It's a malady that lingers on and on...and, frankly, I couldn't be happier.

Perhaps I've overstated things a bit in the preceding lines for the purpose of dramatic effect (though not, sadly, about Laura's beliefs on Morrissey...the poor, delude child), but after listening to the man's latest album, Vauxhall and I, it seems clearer to me than ever that I am, hopelessy and unabashedly, a diehard Morrissey fan for life. I mean, at this point, it's perfectly obvious that he could put out the most cringe-inducing heap of shit imaginable to the human mind, and, within two-and-one-half days, I'd have declared it a work on unparalleled genius and know the words to each song backwards and upside down, all the while plucking pearls of wisdom from every last syllable.

So let's just go ahead and cut the crap and give it the four stars you know I think it deserves.

And now that I've actually gotten around to taking the tape out of the box and listened to it, let me tell you exactly why I think it deserves four stars.

Upon first listening to Vauxhall and I, I guess I was a bit distracted, because my primary thoughts were that it was slower than previous works. I described it to friends as being Kill Uncle, Mark Two, because, like that album, it didn't grab me on first listen.

It's a bit of a grower, this Vauxhall and I.

Let's start with best song first. "Speedway," the album's closer, is more powerful, both musically and lyrically, than anything he's done before. All I've got is one of those advance tapes with less-than-stellar sound quality, and the arrangement still blows me away. When I hear it on CD, it might kill me. Hyperbole, perhaps, but it's the song that I find myself listening to more than any other on the tape.

Like "Speedway," many of the songs on Vauxhall and I contain a power unheard of in Morrisey's work since the Smiths. "Hang on to Your Friends" contains guitar work that suggests that the long-rumored Morrissey-Marr reunion has occurred (even though it hasn't). The first single, "The More You Ignore Me, the Closer I Get," is also reminiscent of such. "Billy Budd" is a total power pop song, complete with wah-wah thrown in. Side 2 is definitely slower than Side 1, and it takes a bit longer to get into, but by the time "Speedway" ends the side (and the tape), you know it'll be worth your while to listen to it again and again. As noted, I'd have learned to love Vauxhall and I if given enough time, but those with considerable less bias than I will be holding this one up as elevn songs of true genius.

And even if they don't, I certainally will.

Reviewer:  Bonn Garrett, courtesy of Flash Magazine.